A Grand Orchestration

My day starts without delay. The alarm goes off and I am up and moving. Get myself ready in 15 minutes and then breakfast and backpacks diapers changed, and out the door by 7:45 am. 2 mornings I do not drive carpool and get to stay in jammies. Sometimes.

Monday May 1st I was up and out the door for Cooper's class field trip to Adopt and Elder and the Utah Museum of Natural History. I was assigned 6 rowdy boys. They were good. But only because I am a whip'em in shape kind of Mom.

2 school bus rides and 7 hours of volunteer hours later I picked up the 2 little kids from the sitter to welcome Heidi home from her Mission!  Poor Heidi was sent home after 8 months with complications from food allergies. Twice Heidi experienced severe reactions to eating nuts and dairy. After being tested she is allergic to Dairy, Nuts, Corn, parsley, cantaloupe, carrots, and what else?? Egh, nightmare!

I offered to throw Heidi an impromptu open house that evening after being released. In the hurry to make 3 desserts in an hour, I poured boiling CARMEL on my hand. Genius I know.

And my hand had no feeling for about 3 days. Then it began to peel and itch and just be yucky. Longest week ever for my poor hand avoiding all water and being wrapped up in gauze.

I am completely overbooked. My kids are not. They are fine. Just playing and having fun and avoiding homework. But me and Spence have our day, week, month, perfectly orchestrated. There is barely enough time for me to escape several times a week to train with a running friend. Time for Spence to attend Mutual and Camp once a month, or me to meet with the RS Presidency. Monday evenings I go in to the office for an hour or two. Thursday nights I drive the city checking up on paper routes. Fridays I work a few hours and Friday night is our only night off. Saturday we spend cleaning and working on projects or grocery shopping. BUSY! Most days dinner is prepared by 2 pm because once the kids are home there is no time or patience to MAKE dinner.

 Somehow I find time to give my littles some sort of attention or outing or project just for them. We attended a playgroup outing to the Fire House!

 I indulged Maddux for a week with puzzles all over the kitchen. This put me over the edge.

 On days I cannot be home after school I try to make a little something which says i love you

And these two! Grr. They really are trying me. April they had taken to the idea that they could just up and go on a walk by themselves!!! I spent weeks chasing them down and keeping them in the yard. This is when I realized they needed more attention and a daily morning outing to tire them out so they could no longer run away would solve the problem. Being the selfish Mom that I am I make them ride in the stroller while I strain to push them up hill far enough to feel a little work out then come down to find a park. They play while I do squats or lunges or anything to make me feel less sedentary. Heidi comes along also. It is win win.

I guess I am trying to say that I am tired. Tired of problem solving. Tired of homework and juggling and chasing and driving and sleeping and cleaning and laundering and fellow shipping. Tired of little me time which is not related to exercise. Tired of no dates.

Yet it is a good tired. A tired which says I am needed. I am loved. I am part of a community. My home screams WE EXIST by the trampled crackers constantly on the floor, the piles of clothes and the hand prints all over the walls. Nothing is ever where is should be yet it is right where it belongs. There will be a time that all will be in place and I will mourn the loss of babies fighting.

But I am not there yet. There is no remedy for tired. Some days our Orchestra is in tune. It is beautiful. Other days it is off pitch and I am DONE! It is what it is. And it is MINE. So I better love it before it is gone.

If I could only find the perfect balance of instruments in my day to put us back in tune.